dora lee

Words of wisdom from "He's Just Not That Into You"

Anna: What about 'Texter'?

Mary: 'Texter' has yet to maker verbal contact. I mean this guy could have had surgery, leaving him with a voice box, breathing through a stoma and I would never know because I've never actually heard his voice.

Anna: Well I doubt he has a stoma.

Mary: Well that's not that point. I can't text. I'm not charming via text.

Anna: Well maybe you should just stop texting.

Mary: It's not just texting. It's email. It's voice mail. It's snail mail.

Anna: That's regular mail.

Mary: Whatever, none of it's working. I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work. So I called him at home. And then he emailed me to my Blackberry. So I texted to his cell, and then he emailed me to my home account. And the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days where you had one phone number and one answering machine. And that one answering machine housed one cassette tape. And that one cassette tape either had a message from the guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting.

Anna: What about that uh...MySpace™ guy?

Mary: Jude... I like him.

Anna: Great!

Mary: Yeah...I feel like we connected.
  • Current Mood
    rejected rejected
gotta get off

hoodoo voodoo

almost immediately after Kip & I got together, I started getting into Tarot cards again. pagancub bought me a deck awhile ago and i tooled with them for a bit before getting tired of it. Kip is very good at them and can read shit I can't even see. Thus, it made me want to indulge in them head-on. I've been drawing a card or two every day (like my friend, Brian, suggested) and it REALLY works!

Today's card is: The Four of Pentacles
Clarification Card: The Three of Chalices

we'll see what that all means....
  • Current Music
    Barbra Streisand - Much More
grey gardens

where's the warmth?

it's funny how you always expect the clothes you take out of the dryer to be hot. even after you left them in there last night and waited till this morning to get them.

when i reached into the dryer to grab my jeans (and a wayward jockstrap i threw in there with it), i was startled by how cold they were. i don't know why, considering the cement floor of the basement was freezing. and it is winter.

it was just odd is all.
  • Current Music
    Peter Mulvey - Tecumseh Valley (Van Zandt)
gotta get off

put him down

i called my dad when he was in the hospital today. American Idol was on but he's more important. he told me that they were able to remove the cancer and everything seems like a success. his voice was very scratchy but thats most likely due to the chemotherapy. he sent my mom home because she's such a warbling idiot.

while i was on the phone with him, he asked me if my mom had bothered to tell me about our dog, Harley. "What are you talking about?" I prompted.

"While I was in the hospital, she had the dog put to sleep. She didn't even tell me until I asked her how my dogs are and she told me she had to put him down." His voice cracked and i could tell he was trying to stop himself from crying while I was on the phone.

"If I'd have done that," he continued, "she would've had a fit. I'm the one who takes care of him! The one day she has to watch after him, she puts him down. I told her I'd better hurry up and get better soon or else she'll put the others down too..."

apparently, she was having a hard time waking Harley up one morning and then decided to put him to sleep. not only is it fucked that she did it while my dad was in the hospital (and never let him say goodbye), but it's also fucked that she TOLD HIM while he was already suffering from some other shit. my mom is one of the most selfish people i have ever met.

  • Current Music
    Josh Ritter - Lawrence, KS
grey gardens


THEY FINALLY GRADED MY calls at work. apparently, i got as close to a perfect 100 as you can get without actually scoring 100%. this is why i don't like call quality grading. people don't actually adhere to quality control standards when taking calls. they try and resolve the customer's problems and just be done with it.

anyway, it was good feedback. that's all that matters...

I SPOKE WITH MY MOM about my dad's tests for his cancer.

well, i really called my dad and got him to give me the lowdown. my mom was too busy being a nervous wreck in the background. my dad has to undergo chemotherapy twice as well as radiation. they're going to cut the two cancerous nodes out of his neck and he'll be on a feeding tube for awhile, due to the swollen tissue that the removal will cause. i'm worried about what all will come of it, but know my dad is strong, too.

i may try and come down to Arkansas this summer for a bit. hopefully my job will hire me by then.
  • Current Music
    Melissa Etheridge - Must Be Crazy For Me
gotta get off

in short, life resumes

I ENDED UP HAVING a seizure in my sleep last night. it was weirdo, though, because i'd been getting enough sleep for the past few nights. this may end up being why my seizure was extremely mild and why i was able to go to work today.

as i'd mentioned before, i've been reading She's Come Undone before bed each night. so maybe that depressive ass book was the cause of me biting my tongue and rolling around in my sheets last night? who knows... but it certainly sucks.

TONIGHT AFTER WORK, i'm going to see the Broadway tour of Frost/Nixon with my friend Jeremy. my roommate got us free tickets from his job. i'm supposed to meet him in front of the Boston Opera House at around 7:15 and he'll hand Jeremy & me the tickets.

i questioned my roommate last night to guarantee that was still the case and he seemed kind of aloof about it. i hope he doesn't flake out and suddenly tell us we can't go. i already saw Frost/Nixon on Broadway but would like to see the play again. (Jeremy hasn't seen it at all.) my roommate has been at home the past few days because his friend Jesse came into town and they've been busy drinking and hanging out. i don't normally mind my roommate having company over, but Jesse is loud and obnoxious company. he sleeps with the TV on cinema sound and they end up staying up very late laughing and being rowdy.

maybe i'm just jealous of his friendship with Jesse. what they have going on is certainly homoerotic, to say the least. John is not gay.

THIS WEEK AT WORK has been pretty relaxing. maybe that's why i'm able to work despite last night's seizure? they made up a new schedule for all of us because the one we had before had all of us going to break at around the same time, thus causing the phone lines to ring off the hook. now, only 4 or 5 go to break at one time and they have me taking my final break less than an hour before i go home at night. you have no idea what a relief that is to have a break and then turn around and only answer a few calls before you get to go.

it's also slow on my job today, too. hopefully this keeps up all week.
  • Current Music
    Tori Amos - Taxi Ride
to keep

Hurricane Angel

On the day the levee broke
The water did rise and the flowers did choke
The side of my living room did one last toke
Then I watched it all drift away
Now my credit cards ringing up to 30 percent
There’s a man in India wondering where the money went
But I can’t pay

So I sat on my roof in Lake Ponchartrain
Singing woe to my children
Singing woe to the rain
A stranger came by
Never caught his name
He said he’s rowing to the Rio Grand
Air Force One, a blue streak in the sky
Mr. President, you can’t afford to lie
He said I can’t afford to pay

Hurricane angel
Oh I’m lifting my eyes over Baton Rouge
Lift up your wings
Let me hear your voice sing
Can you turn these black skies to blue again?
Oh I’m laying on the floor of a trailer at night
With sixteen refugees, waiting on daylight
I can’t pay

I caught a flat bed Ford up to Baton Rogue
With four worn out souls and one old cork screw
You can drown New Orleans but you can’t drown the blues
So bartender, pour away
Exxon’s having one hell of a year
Three bucks a gallon
Man, they’re makin’ it clear
That I can’t pay

Lord lord lord
We haven’t spoken in many a day
Got my self in trouble down in the ninth ward
I thought I’d send a prayer your way
On my window sill is a stack of insurance bills
A man in Delaware says I can’t have the pills
Until I pay

Hurricane angel
Oh I’m lifting my eyes over Baton Rouge
Lift up your wings
Let me hear your voice sing
Can you turn these black skies to blue again?
Oh I’m laying on the floor of a trailer at night
With sixteen refugees, waiting on daylight
I can’t pay
Somebody should pay

On the day the levee broke
The water did rise and the flowers did choke
The side of my living room did one last toke
Then I watched it all drift away
© Ellis Paul
  • Current Music
    Ellis Paul - Hurricane Angel

stalker love

Perhaps I’m angry because I’m impatient for our life together to begin. I remember I once went walking with my school in Switzerland in the summer holidays. One day we spent the whole morning climbing a boring rocky path. We all complained—it was so hot and pointless, but the teacher made us keep going. Just before lunch we arrived at a high alpine meadow, a huge sunny expanse of flowers and grasses, with electric green mosses around the banks of a stream. It was miraculous place. We were a noisy bunch of kids, but we suddenly went very quiet. Someone said in a whisper that it was like arriving in Paradise. It was a great moment in my life. I think when our difficulties are over, when you come here and we're together, it will be like arriving at that meadow. No more rocky uphill! Peace, and time stretching out before us.

taken from Enduring Love by Ian McEwan

the roles we play(ed)

The others saw him as the Klass Klown, the Krazy Kut-up, and he had fallen neatly and easily into that role again. Ah, we all fell neatly and easily back into our old roles again, didn't you notice? But was there anything very unusual about that? He thought you would probably see much the same thing at any tenth or twentieth high-school reunion—the class comedian who had discovered a vocation for the priesthood in college would, after two drinks, revert almost automatically in to the wiseacre he had been; the Great English Brain who had wound up with a GM truck dealership would suddenly begin spouting off about John Irving or John Cheever; the guy who had played with the Moondogs on Saturday nights and who would go on to become a mathematics professor at Cornell would suddenly find himself on stage with a band, a Fender guitar strapped over his shoulder, whopping out "Gloria" or "Surfin' Bird" with gleeful drunken ferocity. What was it Springsteen said? No retreat, baby, no surrender... but it was easier to believe in the oldies on the record-player after a couple of drinks or some pretty good Panama Red.

But, Richie believed, it was the reversion that was the hallucination, not the present life. Maybe the child was the father of the man, but fathers and sons often shared very different interests and only a passing resemblance. They—

But you say grownups and now it sounds like nonsense; it sounds like so much bibble-babble. Why is that, Richie? Why?

Because Derry is as weird as ever. Why don't we just leave it at that?

Because things weren't that simple, that was why.

As a kid he had been a goof-off, a sometimes vulgar, sometimes amusing comedian, because it was one way to get along without being killed by kids like Henry Bowers or going absolutely loony-tunes with boredom and loneliness. He realized now that a lot of the problem had been his own mind, which was usually moving at a speed ten or twenty times that of his classmates. They had thought him strange, weird, or even suicidal, depending on the escapade in question, but maybe it had been a simple case of mental overdrive—if anything about being in constant mental overdrive was simple.

taken from Stephen King's It
  • Current Mood
    nostalgic nostalgic

holy shit is it cold out!

yesterday evening, i came home from work to a whopping 25°F out. the weathermen are baffled at the startling temperatures. and since my land lord controls the thermostat in my apartment, it's not been breaking 65°F in my bedroom at nights. yay for that electric blanket Brian bought me!

my job today was a little bit better. i told my Texan instructor today off after he offered up one too many anti-Arkansas sentiments. my favorite one i flung back at him was, "you're from Texas. your state LOSES the election!" hee

i've also been kind of responsible when it comes to eating lately, too. it's so weird considering how my diet used to consist of Chipotle, Wendy's® and popcorn. but i've grown accustomed to the taste of yogurt and have been getting yogurt every morning. i called my Dad today and begged him for some money so i can buy some yogurt for the rest of the week. that's what i'll be snacking on every morning while i'm still in training on the job.

i also got a can of red beans tonight and had Goya® and rice for dinner. i used to just fend for myself and munch on chips and whatnot. i bet my body is flipping out on this foreign healthy object in my tummy. considering i'll be 29 in less than a month, i guess this is what it feels like to grow up some.

that, and it increases my collection of oldies music on my iTunes. rock on with my 80's self!
  • Current Music
    John Waite - Missing You